How to Talk to Children About Death and Funerals
December 4, 2025
Talking to children about death can feel overwhelming. Many adults worry about saying the wrong thing, sharing too much, or causing unnecessary fear. While these concerns are completely natural, honest and age-appropriate conversations can actually help children process loss in a healthy way and feel more secure during a difficult time.
At Perman Funeral Home, we often support families who are navigating these conversations for the first time. While every child is different, there are thoughtful ways to approach this topic with care and understanding.
Why These Conversations Matter
Children are often more aware than adults realize. Even when no one explains what is happening, they notice changes in routine, emotional shifts, and the behavior of the people around them. Without guidance, children may create their own explanations, which can be confusing or frightening.
Open conversations help children:
- Understand what has happened in clear, simple terms
- Feel included rather than left in the dark
- Learn that it is okay to ask questions and express emotions
- Build healthy coping skills for grief now and in the future
Using Age-Appropriate Language
How you talk about death should match a child’s age and emotional development. Avoid euphemisms that may confuse them, such as “passed away” or “went to sleep.”
A simple, honest explanation is often best.
Examples by age group:
- Young children (ages 3–5):
Use concrete language. Explain that death means the body has stopped working and the person cannot come back. - School-age children (ages 6–10):
Be prepared for more questions. Children at this age may want details and may ask the same questions repeatedly. - Preteens and teens:
Older children may understand death more fully but still struggle emotionally. They may need space, reassurance, and ongoing communication.
Encouraging Questions and Honest Answers
It is okay if you do not have all the answers. Children sometimes ask big or unexpected questions, such as “Why did this happen?” or “Will you die too?”
When possible:
- Answer questions calmly and truthfully
- Keep responses simple and direct
- Admit when you do not know the answer
- Let them know it is okay to keep asking questions later
Reassurance is important, especially for younger children who may worry about losing other loved ones.
Should Children Attend a Funeral or Memorial Service?
Many families are unsure whether children should attend funeral services. There is no single right answer. It often depends on the child’s age, personality, and comfort level.
Consider the following when deciding:
- Explain what the service will be like before they attend
- Let them know they can step away if they feel overwhelmed
- Give them a role, such as placing a flower or drawing a picture
- Make sure a trusted adult is available to support them during the service
Including children can help them feel involved and may provide a sense of closure, but the choice should always respect the child’s needs.
Helping Children Express Grief
Children do not always express grief the same way adults do. Their reactions may come and go, and they may shift quickly between sadness and play.
Healthy ways for children to express grief include:
- Drawing pictures or writing letters
- Sharing memories or stories
- Asking questions at their own pace
- Spending time together as a family
There is no “right” way for a child to grieve. Patience and consistency help them feel safe.
When Additional Support May Be Helpful
If a child shows ongoing signs of distress, such as persistent anxiety, withdrawal, sleep problems, or changes in behavior, additional support may be beneficial. Speaking with a school counselor, therapist, or grief support group can provide guidance tailored to the child’s needs.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it better to shield children from death?
In most cases, avoiding the topic can cause more confusion. Gentle, honest conversations help children feel secure and supported.
2. What if my child keeps asking the same questions?
Repetition is normal. Answering calmly each time helps children slowly process the information.
3. How much detail should I share?
Share only what the child asks and can understand. More detail can be added over time as needed.
4. Is it okay for children to see adults grieve?
Yes. Seeing adults express emotion models healthy coping and shows children that feelings are normal.
5. What if my child does not seem sad at all?
Grief looks different for every child. They may express emotions later or in unexpected ways, and that is okay.
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In today’s digital world, technology touches nearly every part of our lives, including how we remember and honor those we love. From live-streamed services to online memorials, technology has transformed the way families plan, attend, and personalize funerals. At Perman Funeral Home , we embrace modern tools that make it easier for families to stay connected, share memories, and create meaningful tributes. Whether family members are nearby or halfway across the world, technology helps ensure that everyone can be part of saying goodbye. How Technology Is Changing Funeral Services Funeral traditions will always be rooted in compassion and respect, but modern innovations now offer new ways to enhance the experience. Below are some of the most impactful ways technology supports families today: 1. Live Streaming and Virtual Attendance One of the most significant advancements in recent years is the ability to live stream funeral services . For families with relatives living in other states or countries, live streaming allows them to participate in real time, offering comfort and connection even from afar. At Perman Funeral Home, we can help families set up private, secure streaming options so loved ones can view the service safely and respectfully. 2. Online Memorials and Tribute Pages Technology also gives families the ability to create online memorial pages , digital spaces where friends and relatives can share condolences, photos, and memories. These virtual tributes become a lasting digital keepsake, allowing families to revisit kind words and special moments long after the funeral has passed. Examples of features include: Guest books for visitors to sign and leave messages Photo galleries celebrating a loved one’s life Links for donations to a chosen charity Event details for services and visitations These memorial pages are especially meaningful for large families or communities who want to stay connected during their time of grief. 3. Digital Obituaries and Notifications Traditional printed obituaries are still important, but digital obituaries allow for broader reach and convenience. Families can share them through websites, social media, and email, ensuring that everyone who wants to pay their respects is informed. Digital obituaries also make it simple to include photos, music, or video clips, creating a more personal reflection of the life being celebrated. 4. Personalized Multimedia Tributes Technology has made it easier than ever to create custom tribute videos , slideshows, or music playlists that tell a loved one’s story. At Perman Funeral Home, we help families compile meaningful photos, favorite songs, and video clips into a heartfelt presentation that can be played during visitations or services. These multimedia tributes are often one of the most cherished parts of the ceremony, bringing memories to life and allowing guests to reflect on shared experiences. 5. Digital Pre-Planning and Record Keeping Technology also simplifies pre-planning for those who wish to arrange their own funeral details in advance. Through secure online forms and digital record systems, individuals can make decisions, store their preferences, and even pre-pay for services, all without leaving home. This not only brings peace of mind but also eases the burden on loved ones later, ensuring that every wish is clearly communicated and safely stored. Benefits of Using Technology in Funeral Planning  Convenience Families can access important details, view tributes, and share updates from anywhere. Connection Technology bridges distance, allowing family and friends around the world to participate. Personalization Digital tools make it easier to customize services with music, visuals, and personal stories. Preservation Online memorials and tribute videos ensure memories live on for generations to come. Accessibility Virtual options make participation possible for those unable to attend in person. How Perman Funeral Home Integrates Modern Tools At Perman Funeral Home , we combine time-honored traditions with modern technology to better serve today’s families. Our services may include: Secure live streaming for private or public ceremonies Custom video tributes and music selections Digital guestbooks and online condolence sharing Email updates and reminders for service details Online pre-planning tools to simplify future arrangements We believe technology should enhance, not replace, the personal connections that make funeral services meaningful. That’s why every tool we use is guided by care, sensitivity, and respect for family traditions. Frequently Asked Questions 1. Can we live stream a service for relatives abroad? Yes. Perman Funeral Home offers reliable, private streaming options so family and friends from anywhere can attend the ceremony virtually. 2. Are online memorials permanent? Many online tributes remain available indefinitely, allowing families to revisit them year after year. We can help you create or manage a page that best fits your needs. 3. Can music or videos be included during the service? Absolutely. Families are encouraged to share favorite songs, photos, or videos that celebrate their loved one’s life. We can help organize and present them during the service. 4. How secure are digital obituaries or streaming services? We ensure all online services are handled through trusted, secure platforms to protect family privacy and maintain the dignity of the event. 5. Can pre-planning be done entirely online? Yes. Our pre-planning process allows you to record your wishes digitally and update them anytime. We also offer in-person or phone consultations if preferred. Technology has brought new ways to connect, remember, and celebrate life, without losing the warmth and compassion that define every service. At Perman Funeral Home , we’re proud to combine modern innovation with the timeless values of care and respect, ensuring that every family can honor their loved one in a way that feels both personal and meaningful. Whether you prefer traditional arrangements or digital enhancements, our team is here to help you create a service that truly reflects the life it celebrates.
Every life tells a story, and when a loved one passes away, families often seek ways to celebrate that story in a meaningful way. While traditional funeral services remain important for many, more families today are looking for personalized touches that reflect the unique personality, passions, and legacy of the person they are honoring. At Perman Funeral Home, we understand that personalization helps transform a service from a standard ceremony into a heartfelt tribute. By incorporating creativity, traditions, and special details, families can design a memorial that truly celebrates their loved one’s life. Why Personalization Matters Funeral and memorial services are not just about saying goodbye, they are about remembering and celebrating. Personal touches can help: Provide Comfort: Seeing a loved one’s personality reflected in the service can bring peace to grieving family members. Encourage Connection: Guests feel more engaged when the service reflects familiar memories or shared experiences. Preserve Legacy: Customized services create a lasting tribute that friends and family will remember for years. Personalization ensures that the service is not only respectful, but also a true reflection of the individual’s journey. Creative Ways to Personalize a Memorial Service 1. Meaningful Music and Readings Music and words have the power to capture emotion in a way nothing else can. Families may choose: Favorite songs of the loved one Hymns or spiritual selections important to their faith Poems, letters, or personal writings read aloud by family or friends For example, a jazz enthusiast might have live musicians perform during the service, while a nature lover’s ceremony could feature poetry about the outdoors. 2. Displaying Personal Items and Memories Objects and photographs often bring stories to life. A memory table or display can include: Photo collages or digital slideshows Hobbies or collectibles (sports jerseys, knitting, artwork, etc.) Travel souvenirs or keepsakes Awards, medals, or certificates of achievement These items allow guests to see different sides of the loved one’s life and spark conversations about shared experiences. 3. Incorporating Cultural or Religious Traditions Every family has unique traditions that hold deep meaning. Incorporating cultural or religious practices ensures the service feels authentic. Examples include: Lighting candles or incense Performing traditional prayers or rituals Serving favorite cultural foods at the reception Including symbolic colors, flowers, or decorations Perman Funeral Home is experienced in supporting families with diverse backgrounds, helping ensure traditions are respected and carried out with care. 4. Memory Sharing and Storytelling Encouraging friends and family to share memories can create a moving and interactive service. This can be done through: An open mic session during the service A memory jar, where guests write notes and place them inside A memory wall, where photos and messages can be displayed This communal sharing allows guests to feel part of the celebration and creates keepsakes for the family to cherish. 5. Personalized Programs and Keepsakes Service programs, prayer cards, or keepsakes can also be customized to reflect the individual’s life. Options include: Printed booklets with photos and favorite quotes Seed packets for guests to plant in memory of the loved one Bookmarks or candles with a meaningful verse or message Memorial videos provided on a USB or DVD for family and friends These keepsakes serve as lasting reminders long after the service is over. 6. Creative Venues and Settings While funeral homes and places of worship remain common, some families prefer settings that connect more closely with the loved one’s life. Consider: Outdoor services in a park or garden Ceremonies by a lake, river, or other meaningful location Hosting a memorial in a community center or family home The right setting can make the experience more personal and comforting. Examples of Personalized Memorial Ideas Personality/Interest | Personalized Touch | Example ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sports Fan | Display memorabilia | Favorite jersey draped over the casket Artist | Showcase artwork | Exhibit paintings or crafts during the service Music Love | Include live or recorded music | A playlist of favorite songs played during reception Gardener | Nature-themed elements | Distribute flower seeds for planting in memory Traveler | Display souvenirs/maps | A slideshow of trips and adventures How Perman Funeral Home Helps Families Personalize Services At Perman Funeral Home, we know that every family has unique needs, traditions, and stories to share. Our experienced staff listens carefully and helps design services that reflect the life being celebrated. From planning creative displays to coordinating cultural or religious customs, we are here to guide families in creating a memorial that feels authentic, comforting, and memorable. Personalizing a memorial service is one of the most meaningful ways to celebrate the life of a loved one. By including special music, displays, traditions, or keepsakes, families can create a service that goes beyond ceremony—it becomes a reflection of love, legacy, and remembrance. At Perman Funeral Home, we are committed to helping families honor their loved ones with care, creativity, and compassion. No matter how you choose to personalize the service, our goal is to support you every step of the way in creating a tribute that truly tells your loved one’s story.
Every family carries with it a unique history, faith, and cultural background that shapes the way they grieve and the way they celebrate life. At Perman Funeral Home, we believe that funerals should reflect those traditions, offering not only comfort but also continuity between generations. Honoring cultural practices is more than a matter of ritual, it is a way of preserving identity, showing respect, and creating meaningful memories that bring healing to the community. Whether through prayer, song, symbolic offerings, or family customs, we are here to support families in designing services that celebrate their loved ones in ways that feel authentic and deeply personal. Why Cultural Traditions Matter in Funeral Services Funerals serve two purposes: they help families say goodbye, and they provide a shared space for remembering life. When cultural traditions are included, these gatherings also become a reflection of heritage, values, and beliefs . Incorporating cultural practices: Provides familiarity during a difficult time Offers comfort through faith or spirituality Brings generations together in shared meaning Ensures the deceased is honored according to their wishes Creates ceremonies that feel more personal and heartfelt At Perman Funeral Home, we recognize that traditions are not simply customs—they are expressions of love and respect passed down through generations. Examples of Diverse Traditions We Honor The Pittsburgh community is wonderfully diverse, and families often bring unique requests based on their background. We take pride in honoring a wide range of practices, from faith-based rituals to cultural customs that carry deep meaning. Here are a few examples: Catholic Services Funeral Mass, rosary prayers, incense Meaning/Focus: Emphasis on eternal life and sacred liturgy Jewish Traditions Shiva, Kaddish prayers, simple burial Meaning/Focus: Focus on mourning as a community and honoring the soul Buddhist Services Chanting, incense, symbolic offerings Meaning/Focus: Guiding the spirit with peace and mindfulness Eastern Orthodox Rites Iconography, chanting, memorial bread Meaning/Focus: Deeply spiritual focus on resurrection and remembrance Veteran Services Military honors, flag presentation, taps Meaning/Focus: Respecting service, sacrifice, and patriotism This table only scratches the surface—many families blend traditions or request unique elements that reflect their loved one’s story. Personalization Alongside Tradition While cultural rituals provide a meaningful framework, many families choose to personalize the service further . This may include: Sharing personal stories and memories during the service Creating a video tribute with photos and favorite music Incorporating a loved one’s favorite readings, poems, or songs Designing memorial programs that reflect heritage symbols or colors Blending multiple traditions when families come from different backgrounds By weaving together cultural traditions and personal touches, families create ceremonies that are not only authentic but also memorable and healing. Creating a Respectful and Inclusive Space Our role at Perman Funeral Home is to provide a welcoming environment where families of all backgrounds feel comfortable. That means respecting every detail, from dietary guidelines at receptions to dress codes, prayer customs, and symbolic rituals. Some ways we help create inclusive services include: Coordinating with religious leaders or cultural representatives Providing quiet spaces for prayer or meditation Ensuring ceremonial items (candles, flowers, incense, or fabrics) are available Guiding guests unfamiliar with certain customs on what to expect This attention to detail allows families to focus on honoring their loved one, knowing their traditions are handled with sensitivity and care. Passing Traditions to the Next Generation One of the most powerful aspects of honoring cultural practices is the way they connect generations . When children or grandchildren witness these traditions, they learn not only about the person being remembered but also about the family’s roots. These moments become teaching opportunities, passing on values such as: Respect for elders The importance of community Spiritual or religious beliefs Cultural pride and heritage In this way, funerals serve as both a farewell and a bridge to the future. At Perman Funeral Home, we believe that every family deserves a funeral service that is both personal and respectful of their cultural traditions. Whether rooted in long-held religious practices, community customs, or family-specific rituals, these traditions bring comfort, meaning, and connection during one of life’s most difficult moments. Our mission is to provide guidance, support, and flexibility so that each family can celebrate their loved one’s life in a way that truly reflects who they were. By honoring culture alongside memory, we help create services that are not only healing but also lasting tributes to the richness of life and heritage.
In recent years, more families have been seeking meaningful ways to honor their loved ones while also caring for the planet. One option growing in popularity is green burial —a natural, eco-conscious approach that minimizes environmental impact while providing a peaceful and respectful farewell. At Perman Funeral Home, we are proud to support families who value sustainability and wish to incorporate those values into their final arrangements. Green burials offer a simple yet deeply personal way to return to the earth gently, leaving behind a legacy of love and environmental stewardship. Key Takeaways Green burials minimize environmental impact by avoiding chemicals and non-biodegradable materials. These services use natural caskets, shrouds, and burial practices to promote soil health and conservation. Families can still personalize green burials with meaningful rituals and memorials. Perman Funeral Home can guide families through every step of planning an eco-friendly farewell. What Is a Green Burial? A green burial is designed to allow the body to decompose naturally and return to the earth without disrupting the environment. Unlike traditional burials, green burials do not use embalming chemicals, concrete vaults, or metal caskets. Instead, the body is placed in a biodegradable casket or shroud and buried at a natural depth, where it can safely and gradually rejoin the ecosystem. These burials are often done in designated green cemeteries or natural burial grounds , where the landscape is preserved and protected as a natural habitat. For families who value sustainability, this approach offers a way to say goodbye that aligns with their loved one’s beliefs and leaves a positive environmental legacy. The Environmental Benefits Traditional burial practices often involve materials and processes that are resource-intensive. Green burials help reduce this impact in several ways: No toxic chemicals: Embalming fluids are not used, protecting soil and groundwater. Sustainable materials: Caskets are made from untreated wood, bamboo, wicker, or simple cloth shrouds that naturally decompose. No concrete vaults: This eliminates the need for heavy materials that disrupt the soil and require significant energy to produce. Land conservation: Green cemeteries often protect and preserve natural spaces, turning burial grounds into thriving ecosystems. By choosing a green burial, families contribute to conservation efforts and leave behind a space that nurtures life for generations to come. Personalizing a Green Burial Even though green burials are simple, they can still be deeply personal and meaningful . Perman Funeral Home helps families incorporate unique touches, such as: Holding an outdoor memorial service in the burial meadow or natural area Creating memory tables or photo displays using sustainable materials Planting a native tree or wildflowers near the burial site Placing a natural stone or small engraved marker to honor the loved one Inviting family and friends to participate in the burial process These meaningful additions create a heartfelt ceremony while still honoring the commitment to environmental care. Common Myths About Green Burial Because green burial is still a relatively new concept to many families, it is often misunderstood. Here are a few common myths we help families understand: Myth: Green burials are less dignified. Truth: Green burials are conducted with the same care and respect as any other service, simply without unnecessary chemicals or materials. Myth: They are only allowed in certain places. Truth: While green burials are offered in designated natural burial grounds, many traditional cemeteries also offer eco-friendly options. Myth: You can’t have a funeral service with a green burial. Truth: Families can absolutely hold visitations, services, and memorials as part of a green burial plan—it is simply the method of interment that differs. How Perman Funeral Home Can Help Planning a green burial can feel unfamiliar, especially for families who have only experienced traditional services. Our team at Perman Funeral Home provides clear guidance and gentle support through every step, including: Explaining local green burial laws and cemetery options Helping select biodegradable caskets, urns, or shrouds Coordinating ceremonies and rituals that align with your wishes Handling all permits and paperwork Offering grief resources to support loved ones We are committed to helping families honor their loved one while preserving the beauty of the natural world they cherished. Frequently Asked Questions Q: Are green burials legal everywhere? A: Green burials are legal in most states, though local regulations vary. Our staff can explain what’s available in your area. Q: Can cremated remains be part of a green burial? A: Yes, cremated remains can be placed in biodegradable urns and buried in green cemeteries or scattered in eco-friendly ways. Q: Will the burial site be marked? A: Most green cemeteries allow natural markers, such as native stones or plants, instead of traditional headstones.  A green burial offers more than an eco-friendly alternative—it provides a peaceful, natural, and heartfelt way to say goodbye . By choosing this path, families can honor their loved one’s values, protect the environment, and create a lasting tribute rooted in care and sustainability. At Perman Funeral Home, we are honored to help families explore eco-friendly farewell options that reflect both love for their loved one and respect for the earth they leave behind.
